wow, its been a long time since i last blog. i needed to blurt somethings out, but.. i dont really know who to tell this to.

a lot of things happenned in my life, ever since i started college. i'm far away from my bestfriends. one in uk, one in kl, but still far, i drive, but i dont to go till ampang :P hehe. one of them.. hmm. he has his own group of friends now. people come and go.. this one girl used to be apart of my life, but i guess not anymore. i  found someone who loves me, i think lol. but i know i love him a lot.

this is my last year of foundation, might be leaving to UK next year. and when i do, i wont be anywhere near these people :( im gonna miss them, a lot. sighh. i dont really know how to put my feelings in words, all i know is, these people really mean a lot to me. i will cherish every moment i have with them. the footprints they left in me, and still going on, leaving all sorts of dirty little footprints in me, they're all fucking meaningful :DDDDD hehe. i love them from the bottom of my heart. i really dont know what am i gonna do without them when i continue my studies in UK.

will my friends and i still be as close as we used to? what will happen between me.. and him. if only i have a fucking magic ball that i can see the future :D

okayy.. that was all the.. things going thru my mind these whole time. HAHA
i feel stupid writing this but ohwell :DDDDDD

x.

PS/ i still love my family even if i dont mention a word about them :P

You always listen to someone else, but me.

You might not realize but you've changed. You make me start wondering are you still the one that used to care a lot a about me. Or is it someone else. I'm sorry for being so paranoid and insecure, well, that's just the way it is when you act so weird. I really do feel the small tiny gap between us now.
The way we talked when I just came back. I don't know why was it so awkward for us to even hug or talk. All we did was sit there and, chill? It wasn't wht I expected to happen when I see you. You just don't know how much I missed you.

at the lounge now, dead bored. flight at 2.55a.m. !!!

gosh, so many things happening now, and all i wanna say is sorry :/

i hope i can help you, but like i said, all i can do is advice you.

baby, i miss you already.

anyways, SELAMAT HARI RAYA to all!

Greece, here i come!

Leavin to GREECE tomorrow!

and baby, you take care alright? imma miss you soo much, i love you b!

<3

signingoff

xoxo.

HappyBirthdayBaby

HAPPY 19th BIRTHDAY BABY!

iloveyou ryanloongyuenhong

like I said, this is just the first birthday I'm celebrating with you, there is more to come and I will be by your side celebrating it every single year, with you <3

I wish you all the best baby :)

xoxo

signing off.

college is boring !!!

Nothing changed.

im so glad you changed, but if this is not who you really want to be, and you're just doing this to make me feel better, i rather have the old you back. but, if you've changed because you really want to then, yeah. im fine.

I GAINED WEIGHT! LIKE A LOT! I'M VERY FAT NOW, LITERALLY!!

I don't wanna die fat :(

You and I. I guess we can never be separated :) lol

I love you, thanks for not letting me go.

and thanks, for everything.

xoxo

its never easy to let someone go, especially the one you love. but sometimes, there is just something inside you telling you to let it go. its either you're not good enough for him or something else. its hard to explain. i can never put my feelings now into words, its undescribable. im like squashed in between confused and depressed. but like what everyone said, what done is done. if we are meant to be together, our time will come. for now, just let it be. and we both move on. and if whatever you said is true, and you mean it, then we will see. now all we need is more time.

say it when you mean it okay?! dont say things to someone when you dont mean it! backstabber! i hate you!!! UGH!!

SunwayLagoon with baby and my lil sister, celebrating her birthday with all the lil cute ones was awesome. Sadly, i couldnt swim, i had the girl-monthly-thingy. It had to come on the day when i thought i was gonna have fun playing with them! Ohwell, but i still had tons.

okay here goes.. its 2.8.2010!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JANICE <3

all the best in everything you do, and iloveyou.

and also Happy Birthday to my dear friend LEOUGYN

i cant say i love you cause i dont want Angel to kill mehh! HAHA. and you know i do! :P

signing off.

 I feel good telling you how i feel. but the worst part is, making it up to you when we fight about it. i dont know how to tell you how sorry am i when i actually say stuff like that. i dont want to keep stuff to myself and have doubts about every single thing. fighting with you is the last thing i wanna do. and i wanna thank you, for not letting me go. even when im being a total bitch to you. im sorry, i really am.

but these days, all i want is for you to care a lil more. during exams, i understand. but now? exams are over, so what is it?we have to go back to college soon, i have a feeling something bad is going to happen. something to do with my results. if i have to retake the whole semester again, i will be one step behind you, and also my friends. this is not something i want, but i have to deal with the consequences. but for now, im not back to college yet, i want to have fun.

i really dont know how to tell you how i feel now. i cant put it to words.

i just want you to know, i miss you, a lot. i miss us.

iloveyou.

GO ARGENTINA!!

we're all the way back here supporting for you! LOL

you can do better!!!!!

usually i see a fight coming up, not this time. but i was wrong. i called because i wanted to know. thats all. if you actually think again. how did i ask you. and how did i end the conversation. then you'll know my intentions. i called just to ask, to know whats happening.

sometimes i ask myself. what am i to you?
invading your privacy. what is trust for then? why cant i do what other girls do.

make me believe everything you said to me.

i know im changing, im trying really hard to be the type of girl where i wont really care who are you talking to. and i know i did. i know what i did wasnt wrong. i know i have the rights to ask and do whatever i did. and the way i asked. i know its not the old me anymore.

first and last

i know what i did was a mistake, i hope you'll forgive me.

my love

i love you baby <3

i'll always be there for you,

through weakness and strenghth,

happiness and sorrow,

for better or worse.

i will always love you.

x

the ones i love most :)

i may not know you, but may you rest in peace.
my maid just receive a call from her family saying her mom passed away. that's the worst news ever. not only for her, but to everyone. to find out someone you love left you, for good.

i have this two wonderful chic in my life. let me tell you something about them. they're awesome. thats the one word to describe them. i'll never forget about this two bitches who were there for me no matter how far they are. my calls to them, midnight or early in the morning, they will never fail to pick up and talk to me (but with their im-fkin-sleepy voice) lol. when we're together, we will never fail to put a smile on each other's faces. the jokes, bitching session and all the sarcastic things we say.
i love you both like my own sisters :)
till death do us apart. nothing can break this bond we have.
i love you ChongJiaYin SyanasYasmen

the other one mysterious girl in my life. lol, that girl is amanda. hahaha. see, even writing about her i can laugh. she can be a pain in the ass sometimes, a BITCH! but, we care about each other :)
especially when it comes to someone who messes with us. LOL. dont wanna talk about it so much, and she knows why.
i just love u, thats all!

and lastly, my dear baby :)
you're the one i love most. we might fight A LOT! but in the end, we still forgive each other and forget whatever happened. you're with me all the time, through my ups and downs. AND I SURE I WAS TOO! :P HAHAHA
im a very good girlfriend LOLOLOL. anyways, all i have to say is, i'm always here for you, and nothing can change my feelings towards you. ure my one and only. <3

mom, dad and my dear janice, i dont have to tell u i love you, you should know HEHE

x

whatever it is i hope i wont happen again :(